Earliest Reward for Silah Rehmi (caring for relatives):

Earliest Return for Silah Rehmi (caring for relatives):  

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Of all good deeds, the earliest return one gets is on Silah Rehmi (caring for relatives); to the point that even if the members of a bad and disobedient family (rebellious to Allah) practice Silah Rehmi their wealth is increased. A person who practices Silah Rehmi never has any member of his clan become dependent.” [Saheeh Ibn Hibban]

Some people think that Silah Rehmi (taking care of relatives) can only be done with money. This is a defective understanding. Silah Rehmi is the effort one undertakes to bring any good and to prevent anything bad from reaching your near and distant relatives.

Silah Rehmi is rewarded even if done by a Kaafir or Munaafiq. Of course, their reward is limited to returns in this world only, for they have no share in the Hereafter.

Why the Sahabah (ra) Should be Our Role Models?

Why should the Sahabah [companions] (radi Allahu anhum) of Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alahi wa sallam) be our role models? They had different personalities and different professions and none was a great scientist or movie star or athlete, so why look up to them or learn about them?

The answer is that they were the followers of Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alahi wa sallam) just as we are. But they were the best of followers ever. So there are no better examples for us to emulate, than the Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) of the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alahi wa sallam).
What Muslims need more than anything else, is that the people they look up to, be beloved to Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). And Allah's love for humans depends on how closely they emulate His beloved messenger, Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam). Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) says: "Say [O Prophet]: "If you love Allah, follow me, [and] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins." [Al-Quran 3:31]
And Allah's most beloved messenger, Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam), told us: "The best of my followers are those living in my century (generation), then those coming after them and then those coming after the latter." [Bukhari] Therefore, the people to love the most and look up to, after Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam), are his Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum).
Some of Prophet Muhammad's (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) were of a gentle and lenient temperament, while others were strict; some were learned, while others were illiterate. Some of the Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) were ascetic and lived on what most will not consider conceivable, while others were traders who were the millionaires of their time. In other words, each was unique. But they have all been praised in the highest terms by Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam).
When we learn about their lives, we will identify more with some and less with others. The mercy of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) is that He has given us so many role models of behavior, character, and conduct, of those who earned Allah's (subhana wa ta'ala) pleasure. So, hopefully, there will be at least one Sahabi (radi Allahu anhu) with whom we will be able to identify and relate to. That Sahabi (radi Allahu anhu) would become our role model.
A common characteristic among all of the Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) is that they clearly understood what this world is about; something very limited and unfulfilling. They were very ambitious for the hereafter and focused on gathering all they could for it. Anything that did not give them a chance to gain the pleasure of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) was a waste of time for them. One could say that the Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) were obsessed with the hereafter. They judged their victory or defeat, profit or loss, happiness or sorrow by its impact, negative or positive, on their Akhirah/hereafter.
For example, when Haram ibn Milhan (radi Allahu anhu) was stabbed by a spear at Bir Maunah he exclaimed, "Allahu akbar! By the Lord of the Kabah, I won." The disbeliever who had attacked him wondered, "Didn't I kill him? What did he mean by saying, 'I won'?" When the reward of Shahadah was later explained to him, he became a Muslim. [Ibn Hisham, Sahih Bukhari]
The society of Medina was poor in worldly terms, yet the Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) were very rich, rich in that currency that we are all going to need on the Day of Judgement: Eemaan and Hasanat. They knew that the most precious treasure of a Momin is his/her Eemaan and they were not willing to give it up for anything this world could offer. They had internalized the fact that only a person with Eemaan will have light needed to cross the bridge of Sirat over Hell, on the Day of Judgement, when there will be no light available, except the noor of one's faith.

The Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) understood the importance of the Messenger (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and his mission. He was everything to them, a guide, a friend, a father figure and a leader. They loved and respected him more than any leader has ever been loved in history.
When Khubaib bin al-Aratt (radi Allahu anhu) was captured and sold to the Makkans, they took him out of Makkah to crucify him. At this point Abu Sufyan asked him, "I adjure you by Allah, don't you wish that Muhammad were here in your place so that we might cut off his head, and that you were with your family?" Khubaib (radi Allahu anhu) answered, "By Allah, I do not wish that Muhammad (sal Allahu alahi wa sallam) now were in the place I occupy or that a thorn could hurt him, and that I were sitting with my family." Abu Sufyan told others, "I have never seen a people who love their leader, more than the people of Muhammad love him." [Sahih Bukhari, Zad Al-Ma'ad, Ibn Hisham]
The Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) are the heroes of the Muslim nation. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) praised them in the Quran. They are the ones who formed the first and best society of human beings in the city-state of Medina; a society that was based on Allah's rules. They strengthened Islam while the Prophet was alive, and preserved it after his death. They are the ones who fought for, memorized, lived and died to carry the message of Islam to the rest of the world.
The Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) did not think in terms of wealth and poverty, life and death, but in terms of Paradise and Hellfire, the pleasure of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and the wrath of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). They used to compete with each other, not for things of this world, but to seek Allah's (subhana wa ta'ala) pleasure, as they knew that this is the only way to enter Jannah. This is what they envied in another.
But our Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) had prophesied that a time would come when it would be said about a person how cool he/she is, while there is not present even a single grain of Eeman (faith) in his/her heart. In other words, the criteria of admiration would radically change!
The so called heroes of today are such that the more you learn about them, the less attractive they become. On the other hand, the Sahabah (radi Allahu anhum) are such that the more you learn about them, the more you love, admire, and respect them. They are the portraits of people striving for the pleasure of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) endorsed them by telling us in the Quran that these are people who are "pleased with Allah and Allah is pleased with them."

Freedom of Speech: An Islamic Perspective

 

No Muslim can ever bear the insult of the beloved Prophet of Islam (saw). It is therefore hardly surprising that the recent film attacking the honour of the Prophet (saw) has drawn escalating outrage from Muslims all over the world. To add fuel to the fire, a French magazine has now published some extremely derogatory caricatures of the Prophet (saw). Those defending such actions claim they are upholding freedom of speech; and freedom of speech can never be curbed regardless of the consequences.

The grossly hypocritical nature of this elusive concept is however quite apparent for all to see. Europe, for instance, imposes legal and social limits on freedom of expression; publication of anti-Semitic cartoons would almost everywhere be liable to legal prosecution. In some of the European countries it is against the law to say that Hitler did not murder millions of Jews. But, it appears that it is quite acceptable to ridicule Islam and the Messenger of Allah (saw).
Nevertheless, many Muslims today find this slogan of freedom of speech appealing primarily because of the oppressive, decadent environment in which they find themselves in the Muslim world. Therefore, this concept is taken at face value to be a universal concept.

The reality is that there can never be complete freedom of speech. Laws will always be required that would limit freedom of speech in order to preserve society at large. A clear example of this is the preservation of national security. The Official Secrets Act exists in the United Kingdom for the protection of official information, mainly related to national security. People working with secret information are commonly required to sign a statement to the effect that they agree to abide by the restrictions of the Official Secrets Act. In the US, the clash between the conflicting aims of national security and freedom of expression came to a head in 1971 in the ‘Pentagon Papers’ case. ‘The New York Times’ had ignored the government’s demand to halt publication of a document dealing with the US military involvement in Vietnam. As a result, it was enjoined from continuing to publish portions of the document. Although the Court’s decision went in the favor of freedom of speech and the press, it did implicitly acknowledge a national security exception to the First Amendment’s ban on prior restraint. In subsequent years, the Court has upheld the government’s national security claims in several cases that involved former CIA agents who had written memoirs.

Even the philosophers of liberalism had to admit that there exist inherent discrepancies within the concept of freedom and its application at state level. One strand of liberal thought argues that freedom of speech should not be limited because once this happens, the society would inevitably move towards tyranny and censorship. The other line of argument states with equal force that a government’s involvement with the action of individuals should never be removed because this would eventually lead to anarchy and a life that Hobbes described in Leviathan as “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short”. Moreover, some feel that the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent ‘harm’ to others. But there has always been a problem in defining ‘harm’. Does prostitution, for instance, fall under this domain? Most liberals would also include ‘offense’ as a major factor that should legitimize the exercise of power over the actions of the individuals living in a society. Again the issue arises as to which actions are to be considered ‘offensive’. Should pornography, for example, come under this category? Some have argued that pornography is not only offensive but is also harmful. Such contradictions lead to a never ending debate as to what does/ does not constitute ‘harm’ or ‘offense’. Thus what we find is that the slogan of freedom of speech is one of the most used slogans in the world, and yet no one is quite sure what it entails or where the boundaries (should) lie.

But for the Muslims, the issue should be quite clear: Islam does not allow the adoption and propagation of ‘Freedom of Speech’ as propagated by the west since this would include the promotion of such ideas that clearly contradict Islam, such as usury, obscenity under the guise of entertainment and separation of Islam from life’s affairs.
This is not to say that Islam does not allow the Muslims to express their opinions freely. It is allowed for a Muslim to express his opinion about anything or any issue, but this opinion must be derived from Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (saw). Numerous examples can be cited from the Islamic history where freedom to express one’s opinion not only existed but was also encouraged. The companions of the Prophets (saw) openly disagreed with each other on various aspects of Islamic rules. The Khaleefah Harun al-Rashid provided financial incentives for anyone who would teach, learn, propagate or debate issues of the deen. Islam has given the Muslims the right to express their opinions, even if they contradict the opinions of the ruler or that of the majority of the Muslims. It has made it obligatory upon the Muslims to express their opinions and criticize the ruler if he abuses his authority by ordering something that displeases Allah (swt). The Messenger of Allah said, “The master of martyrs is Hamzah bin Abdul Muttalib and a man who stood up to an oppressive ruler, ordered him (to do good) and forbade him (from doing evil) and was killed by him.”

Looking at the glorious history of Islam, we find that the Muslims excelled in every sphere of life: science flourished under the Islamic rule. The Muslims were the most advanced in the world in various fields such as mathematics, geometry, medicine, natural sciences, etc. In terms of economics, they were the most prosperous ; Khaleefah Umar bin Abdul Aziz at one stage of his rule could not find a single poor person to give zakat to during his rule in 7th Century C.E. The Muslims also excelled in agriculture; in the 8th and 9th century, Iraq under Islam had a population of 30 million, 80% of whom were farmers with modern irrigation systems from the rivers Tigris and Euphrates. The ration of yield of seed for wheat in the Muslim world was 10:1 compared to 2.5:1 in Europe. With regard to showing tolerance towards the Non-Muslims, Prophet Muhammad (saw) had said “Whoever hurts a Non-Muslim citizen of an Islamic state hurts me, and he who hurts me annoys Allah (swt).” (Bukhâri). With this kind of mentality towards Non-Muslims, it is hardly surprising that the Christians of Ash-sham (Syria) fought alongside the Muslims against the Christian Crusaders who had attacked the Islamic State.
The question that needs to be asked is, ‘What was it in the Muslim world that had fostered such tolerance, authenticity, creativity, and human flourishing?’ It certainly was not the current notion of freedom that is prevailing in today’s world but rather it was the result of the implementation of Islam on society. Unlike man-made systems, Islam is in total harmony with the reality of human nature since it is revealed by the One (swt) who created human beings. Therefore, the aims of Islam conform to the reality of human society. Islam has designated certain aims for society which include protection of mind, belief, private property, security and state. Only when such aims exist in a society can human beings progress in every sphere of life. To safeguard these aims, an Islamic society will restrict freedom of expression as espoused by the west since it acknowledges the fact that society is not just made up of individuals and what an individual does will have an impact on society at large. Islam makes no apology for doing this. In actual fact, liberal societies, despite their claims of being free and tolerant, are also forced to take certain steps to safeguard society. Hence they have laws restricting the ‘amount of freedom’ that can exist in society. In addition to this, their laws continually twist and change to suit their interests and are often interpreted in a manner that clearly reflects their prejudice and enmity towards Islam as shown in this recent example. The concept of freedom of speech is therefore laden with ambiguity.
A society, by its very nature, demands the existence of certain rules and regulations as to what is and what is not acceptable in speech as well as in other spheres of life. But the fundamental question is where these limitations should be set. We either base our society on philosophical principles that tend to rotate in a vicious circle, or alternatively, as those who believe in Allah (swt)’s supremacy, we turn to the Guidance sent by Him (swt). For us the choice has already been made: We have set you on a plain way of commandment so follow it, and not the desires of those who have no knowledge (45:18).
Basing our opinions on this premise, we Muslims throughout the world, need to discuss and debate on the issue of what is the way forward for us.

Umm Ibtihal teaches applied linguistics/TEFL and have worked in various institutions in the UK and Pakistan. She is currently working at a university in the Middle East where among other courses, she teaches comparative cultural studies.
http://www.newcivilisation.com/home/ideas-philosophy/freedom-of-speech-an-islamic-perspective

Early to bed and early to rise!

Early to bed and early to rise are habits taught by the Messenger pbuh.

Those who unnecessarily or habitually delay going to bed may not realise the harm to their mental, physical, spiritual & social well being.

Similarly those who get up very late each day, allowing laziness to overpower them would have their share of obstacles & negativities as a result.

Once this becomes a habit, it can lead to the break up of marriages, feuds within the families, flaring of tempers, loss of income, failure at school or work, loss of concentration, a constant lethargic feeling and becoming an irritation to those we live with.

It can also cause deep unexplained discontentment, sadness or even put us into a depressive mode.

We MUST fight laziness to succeed!

-Mufti Ismail Menk

Sayyidul Istighfar: The Best Dua for Allah's forgiveness

"If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it and dies before the morning he will be from the people of Paradise."
Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 75, Number 318

 

Sayyidul Istighfar: Chief of Dua for forgiveness
VIDEO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rW1Jaqtk3U

Allahumma anta rabbee la ilaha illa anta, O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshiped except You,
khalaqtanee wa-ana ‘abduka,
You created me and I am Your servant
wa-ana ‘alaa ‘ahdika wawa’dika mas-tata’tu,
and I abide to Your covenant and promise [to honor it] as best I can,
a’oothu bika min sharri ma sana’tu,
I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed
aboo-o laka bini’matika ‘alaya,
I acknowledge Your favor upon me
wa-aboo-o bizambee, faghfir lee
and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me,
fa-innahu la yaghfiruz-zunooba illa ant.
for verily none can forgive sins except You.

 

10 tips For a happy married life based on Quran & Hadith

 

I found these ten golden pieces of advise on how to maintain a happy marriage life from part of a fatwa on askimam.org

Ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, “We have not seen anything that creates love between two individuals such as nikah.” (Ibn Majah)

There are many ways of increasing love between the couple. Consider the following ten points to maintain a happy marriage and control the instinct of dispute.

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) to make the spouses aware of the fear of Allah before performing a nikah by reciting the verses (Al-Nisa 14, Al-Ahzab 69, Aali-Imraan 101) from the Qur’an. All the verses are common in the message of taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahaabi came to Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) and sought some advice. Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Control your anger.” The same advice was rendered three times.
(Mishkat Pg. 433; H.M. Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah.
(Mishkat Pg. 412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said, “And lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey.” (Surah Luqman 19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “A Mu’min is a mirror for a Mu’min.”
(Abu Dawood Vol 2, Pg 325 Imdadiya)
Advice with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyamah.”
(Mishkat Pg. 429)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) confirmed the advice of Salman (Radhiyallahu Anhu) to Abu Darda (Radhiyallahu Anhu) for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.”
(Nasai 2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiyallahu Anhu) resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guest before going to bed.
(Bukhari 602)

9. At least, once every day, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.”
(Abu Dawud, Pg 662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.” (Tirmidhi 2499)
(Taken from Al-Mahmood)

http://askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.php?a...6bfd9e79779d69

MANNERS OF EATING - by Imam Ghazali

What is Necessary for the Person Eating Alone Being three Sections: Before the Food is Served; When One is Eating; When the Meal is Over.

(a) On the manners to be observed before the meal :

The first [rule of conduct]: that the food be lawful both in itself and in the means by which it was acquired; that it shall be in accordance with the Sunna and with piety. It should not have been gained through anything contrary to canonical law, nor through some evil inclination, nor deceit relating to debt—and agreeing with what will be presented in the Book of the Lawful and Unlawful regarding the meaning of what is unconditionally good.

God has ordered the eating of that which is good (al-tayyib), this being the lawful. He has put the prohibition of ‘wrongful eating’ (al-akl bi’l-batil) before that of killing, in order to illustrate the gravity of that which is unlawful and the greatness of the blessing of that which is lawful. He said, ‘O you Who believe, squander not your wealth (la ta’kalu amwalakum) among yourselves in vanity...And kill not one another,’ to the end of the verse. The Prophet said : Hell is better for the flesh which has been nourished by unlawful food. The basic principle with respect to food is that food must be good, this being one of the duties and fundamentals of religion.

The second [rule of conduct] is to wash one’s hands. The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) has said, ‘Ablution performed before a meal banishes poverty, ablution after a meal banishes minor sins.” And in another version, ‘[Ablution performed] both before and after the meal banishes poverty.’ Since the hand cannot escape dirt in the performance of tasks, washing it is the best way to keep it clean and unsullied. And because eating as a support for religion is a form of worship, it is proper that one approach it in the same state as for prayers.

The third [rule of conduct] is to place the food on a sufra on the ground—for this is closest to what the Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) did—rather than to place it on a raised table. ‘When food was brought to the Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace), he would place it on the ground,’ for this is closer to humility. If not, then it should be on a sufra, as a reminder of travelling; and travelling puts in mind travelling to the Afterlife and the need for provision in the form of pious deeds. Anas ibn Malik said, ‘The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) ate neither on a table (khiwan) nor in a sukurruja.’ Someone asked: ‘On what have you been eating, then?’ ‘On a sufra,’ he said.

Know that although we have said that eating on a sufra is more appropriate, we do not say that eating on a table is proscribed as either distasteful or forbidden, for no proscription of it has been established. For there is nothing about a table other than food has been raised from the floor and laid out on it for facility of eating and the like. And there is nothing abhorrent about this.

The fourth [rule of conduct] is that upon sitting at the sufra one ought to sit properly and remain in that position. Thus, ‘The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) used often to squat down on his knees and sit on his heels for the meal. At other times he would raise his right leg and sit on his left.’ He used to say: ‘I do not eat when reclining... for I am but a slave; I eat as a slave eats and sit as a slave sits.’

To drink when reclining is also disagreeable for the stomach, and to eat lying down or reclining is abhorrent except when munching seeds and berries. It was related concerning Ali (may God ennoble his countenance) that he ate dry bread from a shield while lying down—[in another version], while lying prostrate on his stomach, which the Bedouin Arabs sometimes did.

The fifth [rule of conduct] is to have the intention, when eating, of strengthening oneself in obedience to God, so as to be obedient through food and not to seek gratification and luxurious living through food. Ibrahim ibn Shayban said, ‘For eighty years I have not eaten anything for my own appetite.’ And yet he resolved to lessen his intake of food. Since he ate for the purpose of increasing his capacity for worship, his intention was sincere only when he ate less than what satisfied him, for repletion obstructs worship and does not increase the capacity for it. Thus for this intention it is necessary that one’s appetite be broken, and that one prefer frugality to being distended.

The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘No human being has ever filled a container worse than his own stomach. The son of Adam needs no more than some morsels of food to keep up his strength; doing so, he should consider that a third of [his stomach] is for food, a third for drink and a third for breathing.

With regard to this intention, the person must refrain from stretching his hand towards the food unless he is hungry, for hunger is something which must always precede eating. Then he must raise up his hand before repletion. Doing so, he dispenses with doctors.

The sixth [rule of conduct] is to be content with any sustenance and any food available. One should not strive for luxury (delicacies), ask for more or expect a condiment in which to dip one’s bread. In fact, it is a mark of the esteem accorded to bread that no condiment be served with it.

One Tradition enjoins holding bread in esteem, for every thing that keeps the spark of life alive and strengthens one’s capacity for worship is of great benefit and should not be despised. In fact, when the time for prayer arrives, one should not put off eating bread [i.e., the meal] if there is sufficient time. The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘If the time for evening prayers and that of supper coincide, begin with the supper.’ Abd Allah Ibn Umar would often hear the Imam reciting [the Qur’an at prayers] and would not rise from his supper. So long as one does not yearn for food and there is no harm in putting off the time for food, it is more seemly to give preference to prayer. But if the food is ready and the time for prayer has come, and by putting off the meal the food will become cold or spoiled, giving it preference is more desirable when there is time, whether one craves it or not—according to most Traditions. This is because one cannot abstain from thinking about food that has been laid out, even when it is not very hungry.

The seventh [rule of conduct] is that one should try to have many hands partake of the meal, even if they be only your women and children. The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘Gather together over your food and you will be blessed in it.’ Anas [ibn Malik] said, ‘The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) used not to eat alone.’ And the Emissary of God said, ‘The best food is that over which there are many hands.’

(b) RULES AT THE TIME OF EATING:

Begin eating after reciting 'Bismillah'-in the name of God and end it reciting 'Alhamdollah'-all praise is due to God [read the sunnah duas].

Eat with the right hand.

Take little morsels and chew each morsel well. Don't extend your hand to a morsel till you swallow the previous one.

Don't speak of the defects of cooking. The Prophet never did it. When he liked a food, he ate; and when he did not like it, he did not eat it.

Except fruits, he used to take from the nearest side of the dish. The Prophet said: Eat from the side of your front and not form every side, nor from the middle.

Don't cut bread or meat with knife. The Prophet said: Cut meat with your teeth. He said : Honour the principal foods as God sent them from the blessings of heaven.

The Prophet said : If any morsel of food falls down, take it up and clear off the dust attached to it and don't leave it for the devil.

Don't wipe out your hands with handkerchiefs till you like lick your fingers, because you don't know in which food there is blessing.'

Don't blow breath in hot food as it is prohibited, but be patient till it becomes cold.

Eat odd number of dates, grapes and such other fruits which can be counted.

RULES OF DRINKING WATER:

Don't drink water at the time of eating except when thirsty. It is better and keeps stomach sound. Take the name of God and drink slowly. The Prophet said 'Drink water sip by sip and not all at one time.'
Don't drink water standing or lying. as the Prophet prohibited it except for an excuse. Don't blow your breath into the pot or yawn.

The Prophet used to recite after drinking water: All praise is due God who has made it delicious and sweet by His grace and has not made it either saltish or distasteful for our sins.

Drink water with three breaths and at the end recite 'Alhamdolillah' all praise is due to God and at the beginning 'Bismillah'-in the name of God.

(c) RULES AFTER EATING:

Lift up your hand before the stomach is filled up and lick up the fingers. Then wipe them with a towel and then wash them. Lift up the remnants of food. The Prophet said : He who eats what lies on the dinning cloth will remain safe, will pass his life in solvency and his children will remain safe'. Then clean the teeth with a tooth pick and don't swallow what comes out of teeth with it. Thereafter gurgle, lick the dish and drink its water. It has been said that he who licks his dish and drinks its water will get the reward of the manumission of a slave.
Express gratefulness to God sincerely for what God has given you to eat and take food as His gift. God says : Eat of the good things which I have produced for you and be grateful for the gifts of God-2:168. Whenever you eat a lawful thing, say: All praise is for God for whose mercy good deeds are completed and blessings descend. 0 God, give us good food and engage us in good deeds. If you eat doubtful things, then say : All praise is due to God under all circumstances. 0 God, let it not lead us towards Thy transgression. Don't rise up till the dining cloth is lifted up.

If you take food in the house of another person, pray for him and say : 0 God, give him abundant good and give him blessing in what Thou hast provided him.
 If you drink milk, say Give blessing in what Thou hast provided us and increase it for us.

Then wash your hand with soap.

SECTION 2

RULES FOR EATING WITH OTHERS

(1) It there any elderly or honourable man with you, don't begin eating till he begins. (2) Don't remain silent at the time of eating and hold talks. (3) Don't wish to eat more than your friend. It is not lawful for you to eat more when food is equally disturbed unless your friends give you out of their own accords. (4) Eat in such a way that there remains not necessity of saying to your companion 'eat. eat' Eat according to your habit. (5) It is no fault for one to wash hand in the dish and for all in the same pot. If the same pot is used by all for washing hands, the following rules shall be observed . There should be no spitting in the pot, the chief guest should be honoured, beginning should be made from the right hand side. A servant should pour water upon the hands and throwing water from the vessel should be slow. (6) One should not look at the eating of his companions and should withdraw his hand before his companions finish eating. (7) One should not do what appears bad to his companions and talk not such words as may offend them.


From 'Ihya ul Uloom'

“Orphans” …with Parents! Victims of Emotional child neglect.

“Orphans” …with Parents!

By Abu Muhammad Yusuf

It’s a beautiful sunny day, Moosa and Fatima, two bubbly and vibrant 5 year old twins, try to draw their parent’s attention to the lovely sandcastles they had been constructing for hours in the garden. Dad is too busy viewing television and replying to emailson his Blackberry mobile while mum has for the last few hours been chatting with her friends and updating her Facebook page.Mum and dad, hardly take notice of their kid’s achievement. Both parents are usually so involved in their work and social environments that they “hardly” get time for their kids.

Apart from the first four weeks spent with mum after birth both Moosa and Fatima have ever since infancy been inhabitants of a day care centre. In the evenings mum picks them up on her way back home from office. Dad returns usually late in the evening and both parents barely have time to interact with their kids before its time to sleep and wake-up again.

A strange phenomenon of children with both parents but are“modern day orphans”. Due to many parents deep engrossment in the material and social environment, they are unable to spend basic and vital time with their children, thus neglecting them and reducing them to the level of “modern day orphans”. Parents are there, but in reality they are not “there”.

Child neglect, very common type of child abuse,is a pattern of failing to provide for a child's basic needs; it not only relates to lack of food, education and clothing but extends to the child’s emotional and spiritual needs as well as hygiene and supervision. Child neglect is not always easy to spot and the guilty parents are so often oblivious of this syndrome.

Recently a teacher from Primary School asked her students to write an essay about what they would like for them...

At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her:- What happened?

She answered:- Read this. It's one of my student’s essays.

Oh Allah, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place and have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk... I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working.

Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired and I want my mum to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... and... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me and last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them... Allah I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV.

At that moment the husband said:- 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!

She looked up at him and said:- 'That essay is our son's!!!

Makes you think doesn't it?? The significance of child neglect should come as no surprise, given the present day lack of parental care and nurturance. It is so crucial to offer our children care in terms of educational training, emotional support and spiritual guidance. The heart of a child must be filled with love and Imaan(faith). A child’s mind must be entertained with proper guidance, knowledge and wisdom and not left to be nurtured by peer pressure, social networking and immoral television programs.

Allah Ta’ala, The Most Exalted says: “ O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire …”(Qur’an- 66:6).

The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:"Everyone of you is a protector and guardian and responsible for your wards and things under your care and a man(parent) is a guardian of his family members, and is accountable for those placed under his charge." (Hadith-Bukhari and Muslim)

Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending.

One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have caring and loving parents to call mum and dad. There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child. 
Have fun with your kids, laugh with them, talk to them – children remember having fun more than they remember having things. When they’re older, they look back and remember fun things you did together, not the expensive play stations, ipods, mobiles or toys they had. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon hin) was casual and loving towards children. He once kissed his grandchild while another companion of his witnessed this action and said; “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.”(Hadith-Al-Bukhari)

Children are a great boon both in this world and even more in the hereafter... The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in this context, said: When someone dies, their works (righteous acts) come to an end, apart from three: Sadaqah Jariyah (ongoing charity), beneficial knowledge, or a pious child who prays for them (the deceased). (Related by Imam Muslim in his "Sahih"; Al-Tirmidhy, Al-Nasa'y and Imam Ahmad)

And never …yes never neglect and create “orphans” of them while both of you are still around…Children are indeed among our greatest assets…Love and care for them when they need it most and they will love and care for you when you need it most!

********

Ahadeeth Encouraging moderation in seeking provision - At-Targhib wa’t-Tarhib by Imam Mundhiri.

Hadith on Encouraging moderation and being judicious in seeking provision, and censure of greed and love of wealth.

From the book 'At-Targhib wa’t-Tarhib' by Imam Mundhiri.

582. Abu Humayd as-Sa‘idi [RA] reported that the Messenger of

Allah [SAWS] said, “Be moderate in seeking this world. Each is eased to that which was created for him.” (Ibn Majah, Abu’sh-Shaykh and al-Hakim transmitted it as “Each is eased to that of it which was written for him.”

583. Abu Hurayra [RA] reported that the Messenger of Allah  [SAWS]  said, “O people, wealth does not consist in having a lot of goods, but wealth is wealth of the self. Allah gives to His slave whatever provision is written for him; be moderate in seeking, and take the lawful and leave the unlawful.” (Abu Ya’la. Its isnad is good. The beginning is agreed upon.)

584. Abu’d-Darda’  [RA] said, “The Messenger of Allah  [SAWS]  said, ‘Provision seeks out the slave just as his appointed time seeks him out.’” (Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzar and at-Tabarani whose wording is “Provision seeks out the slave more than his term seeks him out.”)

585. Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri [RA]  said, “The Messenger of Allah  [SAWS]  said, ‘Even if one of you were to flee from his provision, it would overtake him just as death will overtake him.’” (At-Tabarani in al-Awsat and as-Saghir with a hasan isnad)

586. Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqas [RA] said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah [SAWS] say, ‘The best dhikr is that which is hidden and the best provision is what suffices.’” (Abu ‘Awana and Ibn Hibban)

587. Ka’b ibn Malik  [RA]  said, “The Messenger of Allah  [SAWS]  said, ‘No two hungry wolves released among sheep are likely to cause more devastation to them than the greed of a man for money and honour cause to his deen.’” (At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibban who both say it is sahih.)

588. Abu Hurayra  [RA] reported that the Messenger of Allah  [SAWS]  said, 

“O Allah, I seek refuge with You from knowledge that is not useful, a heart that is not humble, a self that is never satisfied and a supplication that is not answered.” (An-Nasa’i. Muslim and at-Tirmidhi narrate it in a hadith from Zayd ibn Arqam [RA])

589. Anas  [RA] said, “The Messenger of Allah  [SAWS]  said, ‘If the son of Adam had two valleys full of wealth, he would want a third. Nothing will fill the belly of the son of Adam but earth. Allah turns to whoever turns in repentance to Him.’” (Agreed upon)

Choose ease or piety in deen?

Choose ease or piety in deen?

Question:Bismillahi r-Rahmani r-Rahim
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu-Hu

Respected Mufti,
i was talking with a brother yesterday and we had different views, so he asked me to ask you so you could explain to me that what he was saying is right.
(...)
I said there is an hadith that says we always have to do what's hard and seek easiness for others and he said that Islam is not meant to be hard as Allah t'ala has not given what we cannot do (so listening to music, not having a beard, keeping long trouser and so on are all ok as all of these things would constitute hardship as we're in 2010 and we cannot possibly think of living like at the time of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) ) and said that his iman is in his heart and that's all that matters.

Answer:
3) Allāh Ta’ālā mentioned,

"يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ بِكُمُ الْيُسْرَ وَلَا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ الْعُسْرَ"

“Allah intends what is easy for you and He does not intend what is difficult for you.”

He also said,

"لا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلا وُسْعَهَا"

“Allah does not impose upon a person what is beyond his ability.”
Hence, Allāh and His messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم already chose what is the easiest, best and most convenient for us when legislating the laws. They took extreme precaution in not imposing on us actions which will be difficult for us. There are numerous examples in Shari’a which testifies that Allāh Ta’ālā and His noble messenger only desired what is easy for us. To make masāh on khufayn and jawrabayn, qasr in salāh for a traveler, the permissibility for the sick to sit and pray, etc are just a few examples. It is precisely for this reason that siwāk is not compulsory for every wudhu. Nabi صلي الله عليه وسلم said,

« لولا أن أشق على أمتي لأمرتهم بالسواك عند كل وضوء ». ) رواه البحاري تعليقا - 2/682 - دار ابن كثير ، اليمامة(


“Had I not feared it will be difficult on my Ummah, I would have commanded them to use siwāk for every Ṣalāh.” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhāri Ta’līqan 2/682)

Thus, Allāh Ta’ālā already completed our religion and made binding upon us the easiest of commands. Indeed, He knew what will be easy for the Ummah till the Day of Judgment. We now have no alternative but to follow the Dīn as it was revealed to Nabi صلى الله عليه وسلم. In fact, we should now choose that which is closest to piety. As Nabi صلى الله عليه وسلم praised Ibn Sumaiyah (May Allah Ta'ala be pleased with him) by saying,

ابن سمية ما خير بين أمرين إلا اختار أرشدهما – (أخرجه ابن أبي شيبة في مصنفه- 17/199 المجلس العلمي)

“Ibn Sumayya is never given a choice except that he chooses the one closer to piety.” (Al-Muṣṣannaf of Ibn Abi Shayba 17/199 Al-Majlis al-‘Ilmi)

A similar narration appears in Sunan al-Tirmīdhi and Al-Mustadrak of Imām Hākim wherein Nabi (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) praised 'Ammar (Radiyallahu 'Anhu):

ما خير عمار من أمرين إلا اختار أرشدهما روها الترمذي و قال قال هذا حديث حسن غريب لا نعرفه إلا من هذا الوجه من حديث عبد العزيز بن سياه وهو شيخ كوفي – (سنن الترمذي 5/668 دار إحياء التراث) ، ورواه الحاكم في مستدركه سكت عنه الذهبي في التلخيص)

“ ‘Ammār does not choose between two matters except that he chooses the one closer to piety.” (Sunan al-Tirmīdhi and Al-Mustadrak of Hākim)

[Note – In some copies of Sunan al-Tirmīdhi the words اشدهما (more difficult) appear instead of ارشدهما. The meaning of the Ḥadīth then would be, “When ‘Ammār is given a choice between two things, he would choose the more difficult action.” This narration also appears in Sunan al-Kubrā of Imām Nasa’i.
Thus, all the laws of Islām are now easy even if we attempt to choose that which apparently seems difficult (we will still be practicing on what is easy). We have no right now to further simplify the laws which Allāh has already simplified for us through His infinite wisdom].
[Mufti Ismail Moosa]

Moreover, all the 4 Fiqh schools have already incorporated the Hadiths of ease in their Fiqh as a whole, so picking and choosing the easiest fatwas across the fiqhi schools is not necessary to act on the Hadith of ease in deen, rather such shallow approach in Deeni issues based purely on one's personal convenience is nothing but following one's own Nafs and desires and leaving the knowledge based usool and rulings of a Fiqh madhab.
This desire based fatwa-hopping-and-shopping approach resulting in whimsical madhab switching is harmful for one's Deen and has not been allowed by any notable Aalim of past or present.

Qur'anic way of settling Marital disputes-by Mufti Shafi

Qur'anic injunctions about settling Marital disputes

(From Ma'arif al Quran by Mufti Shafi)

وَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ شِقَاقَ بَيۡنِہِمَا فَٱبۡعَثُواْ حَكَمً۬ا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِهِۦ وَحَكَمً۬ا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصۡلَـٰحً۬ا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيۡنَہُمَآ‌ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرً۬ا (٣٥)

Translation:

And if you fear a split between them, send one arbitrator from his people and one from her people. If they desire to set things right, Allah shall bring about harmony between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware. [Surah Nisaa-35]

How to correct an uncooperative wife

'The text turns to women who are either straight disobedient to their husbands or fail to cooperate with them in running family affairs in the recognized manner. The Holy Qur'an gives men three methods of correcting their behaviour. These are to be followed in the order وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّ‌ It means: If you fear or face disobedience from women, the first step towards their correction is that you should talk it over with them nicely and softly. Still, if they remain adamant and do not change their attitude by conciliatory counsel alone, the next step is not to share the same bed with them, so that they may realize the displeasure of the husband as expressed through this symbolic separation, and may feel sorry for their conduct. The Holy Qur'an uses the words فِى ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ at this point, meaning 'in beds'. It is from here that Muslim jurists have deduced that this staying apart should be limited to 'beds' and not to the 'house' itself. In other words, the woman should not be left alone in the house, something which is bound to hurt her feeling much more and which makes the possibility of further straining of relations far stronger.

A Companion reports:

I said: '0 Messenger of Allah, what right do our wives have on us?' He said: 'That you feed them when you eat; provide them with apparels to wear when you have these for yourselves; and do not hit the face; and do not say abuses to her; and do not leave them apart unless it be within the house. (Mishkat)

If this gentle admonition fails to produce any effect, some corrective form of a little 'beating' has also been allowed as a last resort, of course, in a manner that it does not affect the body, nor goes to the undesirable limits of hurt or injury to the skin or bones. As for slapping or hitting on the face, it is absolutely forbidden.

The first two methods of admonition, that is seeking to convince and leaving apart in beds, are more or less an exercise in nobility against arrogant lack of compromise. Prophets and their righteous followers have spoken in favour of it. That they practiced what they preached is also a proved fact. But, this third method of admonition, that is, beating, has been permitted as a forced option in a particular mode. Right along with this option given to men, it appears in hadith وَلَن یَّضرب خَیَارِکُم which means that 'good men among you will never beat women.' Thus, such an action is nowhere reported from the blessed prophets of Allah.

According to a narration from the daughter of Sayyidna Abu Bakr (RA) as reported by Ibn Sa'd and al-Baihaqi, the beating of women was absolutely prohibited in the early days, but this resulted in their becoming much too oppressive, following which the permission was reinstated.

The present verse relates to one such event, which can be termed as the background of its revelation. Sayyidna Zayd ibn Zuhayr (RA)  had married his daughter, Sayyidah Habibah (RA)  to Sayyidna Sa'd ibn Rabi (RA). During a dispute over something, the husband slapped her. Sayyidah Habibah (RA) complained to her father. He took her to the Holy Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) . He declared that Habibah has the right to hit Sa'd as hard as he did. Hearing this decision of their master, they started back home to take their revenge upon Sa'd. Thereupon, this verse was revealed in which the beating of women as the very last option has been permitted, and no retaliation or revenge against men was allowed. So, soon after the revelation of this verse, the Holy Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) called both of them back and asked them to abide by the injunction from Allah Almighty, and abrogated his first directive permitting the seeking of revenge.

Towards the end of the verse, it is said: 'Then, if they obey you, do not seek a way against them'. It means that should the women mend themselves after that triple-stepped approach, men should forgive and forgo the past events and avoid looking for ways to find fault with them on flimsy issues as the power of Allah controls everything.

The principle of family life given in the Quran is that, despite the rights of men and women being equal in almost everything, there is, for men, a certain precedence laced with authority vis-a-vis women, and they operate thereunder.

Under this basic principle, there came to be two classes of women in practical life. One of them stood by this basic principle, abided by their covenant, accepted the functional authority of man and obeyed him in deference to the wise Divine arrangement. Then there was the other class of women which failed to live by this principle in its fullness. As for the first-mentioned class, it provides for itself a perfect guarantee of family peace and well-being. It needs no correction of course in its life.

Such correction is, however, very much in order for the second class of women. For this purpose, the second sentence of the verse offers a compact system which would help correct things within the four walls of the house and the tussle between the husband and the wife would be diffused and settled for good right there without any third party having to intercede in between them. So, men have been told: If you sense some lack of cooperation from women, the first thing you should do is to talk to them explaining things in a way which helps change their mind and attitude. If that works, the issue is resolved right there. The woman is rescued from a permanent sin and the man from an aching heart, and the two of them from some everstinging anguish. Now, if this person-to-person talk fails to bring results, the second stage is to sleep on a separate bed as an indicator of your displeasure, and may be as a device to bring about a change of attitude through the sending of a warning signal. This is ordinary admonition but good enough for a warning. If the woman gets the message, the dispute ends right there. But, if she ignores even this soft measure of correction and persists with her crooked ways, there is the third step in which token beating is also permitted, the extreme limit of which is that it should produce no effect on the body. The use of this method of admonition (beating of woman) was not liked by the Holy Prophet (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) who, quite on the contrary, said that gentlemen would not do that. However, if this token reprimand as the last resort does result in normalcy of relations, the main objective stands achieved anyway. That men have been given three options to correct women in this verse is coupled with the words فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَڪُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡہِنَّ سَبِيلاً‌ۗ said at the end of it. It means that, should the women start listening to you after these three-step ways of correction, do not go for hairsplitting and start levelling more accusations. The better course is to forgo, realizing that the measure of precedence over women given to you by Allah Almighty is not absolute, for the precedence of Allah Almighty hangs heavy over you. If you exceed the limits set for you, it will be you who is going to take the punishment.

The role of the family arbitrator in disputes

The arrangement described so far was to help tempers cool off within the privacy of the house keeping it restricted to the married couple. But, there are times when the family feud becomes long drawn. It may be because the woman is temperamentally obstinate and contumacious, or it may be the fault of the man who may have been unjustly oppressive. Whatever it actually is, one thing is certain that the unfortunate tussle will not remain restricted within the four walls of the house; it will .definitely spread out. Then, as usual, supporters of one party will go about maligning the others with all sort of accusations. This will cause tempers of parties to rise and what started as the disagreement of two individuals will turn into a confrontation between two families.

It is to block the road to this terrible discord that, in the second verse, the Holy Qur'an addresses government authorities of the time, the guardians of the parties concerned and their supporters, and the general body of Muslims, and suggests a decent method which would cool down tempers, shut out avenues of accusations and make a compromise between the affected parties possible, so that the dispute which, no doubt, could not remain restricted to the couple's home, would at least be settled within their families and not go to a court of law to become public knowledge.

This particular method requires that concerned officials of the government or the guardians of the parties or a body of Muslims which has the necessary integrity, influence and authority should take charge and appoint two arbitrators to hep bring about a compromise between the parties concerned - taking one arbitrator from the man's family and the other from that of the woman. At both these places, the Holy Qur'an has used the word, "haham" for these appointees whereby it pin-points the necessary qualifications of these two persons, that is, they should have the capability to decide the dispute between the two' parties; and this capability, as obvious, will be found in a person who is both knowledgeable and trustworthy.

In short, the rule that emerges from here is that a "baham" or arbitrator from the man's family and another from that of the woman should be appointed and sent to the husband and wife. Now, as for what they are going to do when they meet them and as to what rights they have in this matter - this the Holy Qur'an does not determine. However, it does add a remark at the end إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصۡلَـٰحً۬ا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيۡنَہُمَآ which means: If these two arbitrators desire to set things right, Allah Almighty will help them bring about harmony between the husband and the wife. So, two things emerge from this sentence:

1)      If both arbitrators have good intentions and genuinely wish to bring about peace between the dissenting couple, there will be unseen help from Allah Almighty and they shall succeed in their mission, and it will be through their efforts that Allah Almighty will create love and harmony in the hearts of the couple. This leads to the conclusion that, in cases where mutual rapport is not restored, it may be because one of the arbitrators lacks perfect sincerity while pursuing the goal of peace-making.

2)      The purpose of appointing these two arbitrators, as also understood from this sentence, is to bring about peace and amity between the husband and the wife and does not include anything beyond that. However, it would be something else if the .parties affected by the mutual dispute agree to appoint these two arbitrators as their representatives and their attorneys in all respects in which case they would be admitting that any decision given by the two arbitrators jointly will be acceptable to and binding on both of them. Under this situation, the two arbitrators shall have absolute authority to decide their case. If both agree on divorce as the solution, they can effect a divorce. If they both decide that the women should be released under khul', a form of dissolution of marriage, the khul' shall come into effect, and their decision shall be binding on the parties. From among the pious elders, this is the position held by Hasan al-Basri' and Imarn Abu Hanifah. (Ruh alMa'ani, etc.)

Cited in this connection is an incident which occurred in the presence of Sayyidna 'Ali (RA). There too, one finds the proof that the two arbitrators referred to above do not have any intrinsic right other than that of making peace between the husband and wife - unless, of course, the parties concerned authorize them fully to decide as they deem fit. This incident, as narrated by 'Ubaidah al-Salmani, appears in the Sunnan of al-Baihaqi and is being reported below.

A man and a woman came to Sayyidna Ali (RA)  along with groups of people accompanying both. Sayyidna Ali (RA)  asked them to appoint an arbitrator, one from the man's family and another from the woman's. When arbitrators were appointed, he addressed them both: 'Do you know your responsibility? Do you know what you have to do? Hear me. If both of you agree to keep the husband and wife together and make peace between them, then do it. And if you come to the conclusion that matters cannot be set right between them or that they will not stay right later on, and both of you concur with the option that a separation between them is the expedient course, then do it.' When the woman heard this, she said: 'I accept this. Let these two arbitrators act in accordance with Divine law and I shall accept any decision they give whether it meets my wishes or goes against.' But, the husband said: 'Separation and divorce are things I am not going to accept under any condition. However, I authorize the arbitrators to ask me to pay whatever financial penalty they impose and let my wife return to me in peace.' Sayyidna Ali (RA) said: 'No. You too should authorize the arbitrators in -the same manner as was done by the woman.'

From this incident, some Mujtahid Imams deduced the principle that these arbitrators have an inherent authority to divorce as was done by Sayyidna Ali (RA) who asked the parties concerned to do that, while the great Imam Abu Hanifah and Hasan al-Basri have taken the position that, had it been an inherent power of the arbitrators to divorce there was no need for Sayydina 'All to obtain the authorization from the parties concerned. Here, the very effort to seek the agreement of the parties is a proof of the fact that these arbitrators do not have such an inherent power. Nevertheless, they do become authorized if the husband and wife delegate the necessary authority to them.

This teaching of the Holy Qur'an opens a new outlet of resolving mutual disputes, something which saves people from the botheration of going to courts and government officials and gives them an opportunity to iron out a good deal of their disputes and claims through family-oriented arbitration.

Arbitration in other disputes as well

Muslim jurists say that the appointment of two arbitrators to make peace between two parties in dispute, is not limited to the disputes between a husband and a wife. It can be profitably used in other areas of discord. In fact, it should be so used, specially when the parties involved are related to each other, because a court decision is a short-term solution of the basic problem. What happens after is that such decisions leave the germs of hatred and hostility in the hearts of those affected and which reappear after a passage of time in forms that are much too unpleasant. Sayyidna 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, had promulgated an order for his judges which said:

"Send disputes between relatives back to them so that they make peace with the help of each other, as a court decision breeds heart burnings and hostility.

Although this Faruqi directive concerns disputes rising in between relatives, yet, the reason given in this directive (that is, court decisions tend to create hatred and hostility in hearts) is a reason which covers not only the relatives but non-relatives as well. Wisdom lies in saving all Muslims from mutual hatred and hostility. Therefore, the Muslim jurists are of the view that it is appropriate for officials and judges that they, before hearing the cases formally, should make an. effort to find a way out whereby the disputing parties get together and agree on mutual conciliation. (See al-Tarablusi, Mu'in al-hukkam p214 and also Ibn al-Shahnah, Lisan al-hukkam),

Though brief, yet these verses present a comprehensive system of family life which, if put into practice, could help eliminate a lot of disputes, hatreds and hostilities from the world. Men and women would live in peace among their families, secure against all those local dissensions which turn into all sorts of tribal, racial, national, even International feuds.

In the end, let us recapitulate the great Qur'anic mechanism of how to quash family feuds -a virtual gift to the whole world:

1)      Resolve family disputes within the house using one method after the other.

2)      When this is not possible, government officials or the kinsfolk make peace between the disputing parties through two arbitrators, so that, the dispute does not go out of the larger family circle, even if it goes out of the house itself.

3)      When this too is not possible and the matter goes to the court finally, it is the duty of the judicial authority to investigate into the case background of both parties and come up with a decision which is just.

It may be noted that by saying إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرً۬ا  (Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware) warning has been given to the two arbitrators as well to the effect that they should keep in mind that no injustice or crookedness from them will go unnoticed for they shall be appearing before the Being who knows all and is aware of everything