Is “hate the sin not the sinner” idea correct?

Revisiting the idea of “hate the sin not the sinner”

I used to say this phrase a lot during my speeches, like some other well- known and respected preachers. But recently, I’ve felt that this might not be a valid principle for Muslim speakers, activists, or scholars, for a number of reasons. So please see the following.

If “hate the sin not the sinner” is true, then we would ask a father to hate the act of rape, but not the rapist who raped his daughter. Think about it, is this even possible?

Furthermore, for Muslims, there is no definite evidence from our scriptures that reflects this distinction between the act and the actor (i.e., the sin and the sinner). In fact, it’s the other way around.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “A fornicator who fornicates is not a believer while he commits fornication...” (Bukhari).

There are numerous aḥādīth that say Allāh hates the sinner. Some examples are mentioned below:

A) Whoever does not call upon Allāh, He will hate him (Sunan Tirmidhi, Hasan)

B) The Khawārij (religious extremist) are among the most hated creations of Allāh (Sahih Muslim)

C) The most hated amongst people in the sight of Allāh are the ruthless argumentative (people) (Sunan Tirmidhi, Sahih)

D) Allāh hates the profligate and the obscene (Al-Jami’ As-Saghir, Sahih)

From a legal standpoint, the criminal gets punished for his crime by the court, and the sinner gets punished for his sin by Allāh. So how do we differentiate between the two?

From an Islāmic standpoint, we can consider the following ḥadīth:

“Whoever loves for the sake of Allāh, hates for the sake of Allāh, gives for the sake of Allāh, and withholds for the sake of Allāh has perfected the faith” (Al-Jami’ As-Saghir, Sahih)

The ḥadīth is clear about hating someone for the sake of Allāh. How can we reconcile this ḥadīth with the principle of “hate the sin not the sinner”?

Also, to put things in perspective, in recent years, “hate the sin not the sinner” is often revived by Christian denominations in debates about homosexuality and gay marriage. (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/01/04/kim-burrell-hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner/96158416/)

I also understand that there could be a problem with using the word “hate” in the English language as a translation of بغض, because hate sometimes entails potentially doing harm, like in the phrase “hate crime”, and can have negative connotations. But when we are talking about hating a sinner with a “religious hate”, it is different from the English connotations. So, we can consider the following points:

● Religious hate does not allow any harm to be done, as clarified by scholars ( Awn-ul-Mabood fi Sharh Abi Dawood no. 4681) 

● Religious hate also doesn’t mean absolute hate, rather it’s connected to that sin only; you might love the same person for some other positive aspect.
● Religious hate also means that this kind of hate should come out of love and goodwill, and that we should constantly wish and make du’ā` for the guidance of those people, just like the Prophetﷺ made du’ā` for Abu Jahl, the people of Ṭā`if, etc. 

Moreover, why would we teach people to hate? Why not teach absolute love?

A. We are not teaching people to harm others with this “religious hate” (as could be misconstrued via the English connotations). Rather, we are asking them to dislike the sinner because that dislike is something uncomfortable. By forcing ourselves to engage in this discomfort, we can avoid sinning ourselves, knowing that others may dislike us as well. The feeling of dislike that we are calling religious hate, is necessary to give us the motivation to avoid sin. (Carmen Marrick, Hating Evil: Understanding the Role of Evil in Interpersonal Hate)

With that in mind, arguments like “hate the sin not the sinner” serve to desensitize us, and actually push us towards sin by way of omitting hate of the sinner. 

B. Each culture has its own values and standards that predispose its denizens to love or hate certain things. If you go against the social and ethical norms of that society, they will invariably dislike you. For example, if I, as a Muslim father, teach my kids that homosexuality is prohibited in Islām, or that gender is biological and binary, then someone from this society might hate me and label me as homophobic or transphobic. Given my Islāmic values and standards, I will hate them for teaching my kid about these things, and I might call them Islāmophobic.

C. In Islām, we are not egocentric but God-centric. We don’t hate something because of our own personal disliking, rather whatever God dislikes, we dislike as well.

D. We can’t have an absolute love for criminals, rapists, murderers, oppressors, etc. Therefore, we would use the term conditional love rather than absolute love to be realistic/pragmatic.

Finally, I don’t know what the replacement for “hate the sin not the sinner” could be; it would have to be something that more closely aligns with Islām. Maybe we can say this, as suggested by Shaykh Hatem Al- Haj: “Hate of a sin is the hate of a hater, and hate of a sinner is the hate of a lover.” (Love and Hate in Islām, Page 62).

• Taken from Islamic Vs Post-Modern Paradigm of Sexuality, by Dr. Asif Hirani